Category: Insight


Second Post

Mmmm....

Well, that first one was about me, now that we got that out of the way, I can finally use this blog that no one is going to read, to write about important things, things that no one seems to understand or care about.

Lets use respect as the main reason for this post.

Okay, so this blog is all about me since I am writing and it is very difficult to be un-bias, let’s face it. So, if you do not like me now, you most likely won’t later. So, stop now and you shall be relieved of my entire existence.

Respect isn’t common anymore. It isn’t, people don’t realize it, but cultures have mixed very much where I live, cultures and un-esteemed cities  is all I know around here.

The few people that hold the door open, offer their coat to a cold person, that have the courtesy to respect their fellow man in need, those people I respect.

My bosses aren’t those people.

But believe me, I can read people extremely well, and I give discounts to those people, or when I am trying to “play” them in order to exceed at my job, lately it has been the first.

There are a few bosses I like, only because I have to deal with them. I don’t need a boss, I don’t. I can do my job perfectly without one.

Anyways, they think they are better than everyone else. They do.

If I stated what the mission statement of my work is… It wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. So this is what I shall state; basically the whole system that my job claims to be based on is a lie, my bosses are hypocrites.

But now this blog is turning into a complaining, whining girl blog. Ew.

Let me give an example.

My workplace is geared to the man, an ex-coworker of mine, who happened to be an extremely attractive female whom I would have most definitely dated, quit one day when her big employer disrespected her by shaking the hand of a man who refused to step aside ten feet to smoke a cigarette. It was getting inside the store, and she politely and nicely asks them to step away from the entrance, the “customer,” who supposedly spent $800 at my workplace that day, was getting irritated and angry. He was yelling and cursing at her. She is about a foot and a half shorter than me, and he got right in her face calling her profanities. Her big employer walked up to the situation, shook the customer’s hand, and apologized for my coworker. Did not say a word, not even an acknowledged the presence of my ex-fellow employee. I wish I had her balls. She quit the next day.

But like I am told every fucking day.

“At least you have a job.”

Thank you America for the economy you leave for generations to strive in, instead of thrive in.

But, I am pathetic. I don’t even angst against work the common, usual way that everyone else does. I don’t do minimal work, give my bosses a hard time, I do everything they ask. I actually still do my very best, but there are times that may seem unusual, that seem to come straight from a BBC writer.

The first one was a few months ago, I was at the cash register that is appointed to a certain type of working men, in a certain field of physical labor, and no one was in the department that was geared towards this certain choice of career, I had been having trouble all day with no one in that department available to help me assist a customer.

I was fed up after a customer asked if I knew anything about that department. Tired of stating, “No sir, I am just a cashier, but let me get someone who does to assist you,” I see three of my bosses at the desk next to my register, I go straight up to the Store Manager and tell him that this customer has a question about ________ & ______ _________. Then I walk away. You see, I can’t help but treat others the way they treat me. Good thing I only dish it out whenever I get the very few chances. Now, can they fire me for not following Standard Procedure by asking for assistance from my 50+ female supervisor who was currently working on fixing my register computer, which happens to run windows ? She was standing over it fiddling with wires, my bosses of young men status were chatting 5 feet over. What would you do?

No, they didn’t even write me up, but the third in position called me on my register phone, from 5 feet away, explaining Standard Procedure and telling me that he saw the Department Head of the department that had been associate-less all morning just walked by. I bitched up and said “My mistake, I’ll remember next time.” Hasn’t been an incident of that kind again, but there was certainly a commotion of “what happened at the ___ desk,” was talked about.

Oh, by the way, I hate my job. I hate asking customers to sign up for a credit card that will most likely hurt their credit score. I hate pushing buttons for 8 hours.

“At least you have a job.”

Wasted my whole summer.

On average, the days I had off this summer were 2 a week. Let see, I had 26 days off this  summer. That is an estimate. There are 91 days of summer for me this year. Again, I am a supposed part-time employee. Oh, don’t get me wrong, money is great, but I am not a money-person. I rely on encounters, events, happenings, memories, quality time, as more important than anything money can provide, well, besides a house, essentials, and perhaps happiness. It can buy happiness, money can buy a house for a homeless family, but you don’t see big company CEO’s doing that for any homeless person.

That is why I pay more attention to experience than anything.

So, right now I am watching an advice documentary for women on how to maximize their purse space for make-up so that they won’t have to carry everything.

What?

I don’t watch television anymore. All I need is online. No commercials there.

Get to choose what I watch, not what is scheduled.

So, it is safe to say that I know my bosses do not like me.

I don’t know exactly what it is though, that I do, that makes them not like me.

Lets see,

I have a crazy hair-do, I mean, there are reasons people don’t have my choice of hair-style. It is hard to recover from it, nevertheless, it is a statement, especially for a girl. They didn’t say anything, but remember how I can read people extremely well? Yeah. Its body language, not everyone can speak it or translate it, but I can. None of them liked it, but they didn’t say anything. Why?

They hated it when I wore my hoodie over my head when I was cold.

Or wore a tutu to work.

But not the hair.

Heh… Yes, a tutu.

Anyways, I push the limits I guess you could say.

I called out for the first time this weekend since I been there. I’ve tried before, but it was extremely hard to get past my supervisor, cause not only are they now short, but have to find someone to fill in, and get to the bigger bosses. I finally went straight to the phone center to get connected. It was a newb boss, he is nice. I like him enough. He let me call out.

It was an opening shift after a closing shift and I was sick as fuck.

That is the story I am sticking to.

The next day I had a opening shift again. I was late cause I was sick as fuck. It was another newer boss, I couldn’t call him cause he didn’t have a phone, so I had to walk-in and talk to him.

Ugh, I could barely speak. He made me state my reasons twice. I couldn’t help but do the “EEEhhhh!” The Fonz move and say “You got?” after I told him I had been sick after a closing shift, called out the next day, and was late the following morning due to profuse vomiting. I called as soon as I was on my way there, and he didn’t even have a phone on him. He told me that I was 41 minutes late and that I will probably be written up. (For the first time, mind you, in the 7 months I have been there.) Others have been written up more than me and been there about the same amount of time.

Oh yeah, maybe why I don’t like them is that they don’t appreciate me at all the same as other employees who don’t do as much as I and still get recognized. I got over that a long time ago. I don’t give a fuck about my job, just how I do it. Those standards I set are still there, will be for every job.

Anyways, why I think they only hired me because I had no experience and had a decent face is proven because they hired other girls

with prettier faces

and less intelligent minds.

No, no, I do not judge people, I just analyze them, it is just that simple. I couldn’t care less how anyone lives their lives, (does anyone else notice the way “lives” has two logical and sensible ways to pronounce a different meaning word?) but analyzing is all I do. I like  to use my mind while spending time doing pointless shit like pressing buttons. I like to predict, “what would this action cause my future to become?” It is quite accurate. My logic skills are over 9000.

Do I need to restate my earlier statement? I am a nerd.

Anyways, you can be fully assured my self-esteem diminshed quite a bit when they gave these girls rewards for selling credit. I prevented someone from stealing over $700 worth of shit. Do I get a little badge or recognition? Nope.

They recently made a board for all the cashiers with little [My workplace title] icons and their names underneath the trademark character. Mine was not even made.

Someone really doesn’t like me.

I wonder who it is, I want to know why.

It is very interesting when someone wants to cause unhappy things for you. I am quite flattered actually. They put all this planning and manipulation and time and energy just so I can feel bad. That is why I am average. I don’t even have a strong opinion over my enemy.

Let’s get back to the pretty girls, they get away with everything. They are too cute to work.

Disgusting.

One time I was called by a boss I like. Let me retell the story.

I was working 8 30 to 5 30 at a certain register, I had to take care of trash and returned items. There was quite a bit, I didn’t feel like going to the parking lot and find a cart, there was a … oh… I can’t tell you, otherwise you will know where I work. There was another cart in the store nearby made to hold certain things that certain types of working men use, I used it to carry all the trash and return items.

It wasn’t done before, I don’t see why, it was perfectly efficient, just a tad bit difficult to maneuver. Anyways, I was going about my business as all the big bosses were chatting around the registers as I tried to claim all trash and return items. The store manager likes to complain through his second and third in command. The third in command asked whose cart this was, I said it was mine and I was only doing trash and return items. He said oh okay, “but don’t let me catch you again.” I went on with my business. Later I asked him if I looked pretty goofy with that cart, “You are cute ____, you are all right.”

Hey, :), that was nice.

Still pissed off the bigger bosses.

One more story then I shall end this post. The word count is already 2052 at this sentence.

Yesterday was my opening shift, I was pretty delirious and depressed. Barely functioning. I hate my life, my body, every single person in that store.  I just wanted to end.

But I have something not every one has.

True love.

No, no, you have to believe me, this isn’t something bogus. He is my soul mate.

That is why I didn’t go for my extremely attractive female ex-coworker who was very curious about lesbianism, lemme tell you, hehe… But I had already fallen in love with my boyfriend.

He tells me at least every hour how amazing I am, he makes me feel more than average. I love every pore on his body, which is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.

Don’t assume “Oh she hasn’t had a lot of experience, probably first love kinda thing.”

No. I have been with a good amount of guys and girls. My longest relationship was a year and a half. I can handle my own.

He is a nerd like me, but not a nerd at the same time, his friends are jealous of him, they want to be him.

He is the kind of guy who can talk out of the ticket, that when driving, everyone is “in his way,” everything he does and wears is amazing because he is doing it or wearing it.

I love him deeply.

I went over to his place on my lunch hour. I could only stay a while, but he had a bowl packed for me. Oh my. Who else could I ever be with?

I went back to work high as usual. I’m sorry, until I have a job that actually inspires and pushes me to better myself, I won’t go to work sober. It may affect my working by a tad, I mean the slightest bit in that I can’t type my password in 1.5 seconds as usual, but that is it. My judgement is intact. Or so I think.

I was working the self checkout, yeah, I know right, the only people who should need help at self-check out are severely foreign or old and demented people. I swear, sheople just get dumber and dumber, why can’t they just watch the hot chick in the movie playing on their screen that shows them exactly what they need to do?

What is sadder yet is that a paid cashier has to monitor the self-check out.

My shift goes along these lines;

“Hi, how are you? Are you ready? Would you like to use self-check out? Okay, let me know if you need help.”

*Sigh*

I hate the self-checkout.

Anyways, I was stuck guiding a customer to my self-check out as no one else guides customers to their lane.

I greet them nicely and politely, notice how all his items have deactivation tags on them. I simply state I’ll need to deactivate each item. He exclaims loudly “I DO NOT CARE IF THEY NEED TO BE DEACTIVATED, I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE.” Why then, use the self-check out, hm?

Obviously a sheople.

Anyways, I calmly and politely state, “Oh I don’t care as well sir, but its nothing personal, I could care less if you walk out with these items un-deactivated, just as long as I didn’t do it, I’d just like to look good in front of my boss, so I will be deactivating each item.” I was along those lines that my store manager walks by, looking at me as I say that last line.

Ooh, if I ever was going to be fired, it was for that reason, right?

What could they peg me for?

Let us explore:

I could have followed Standard Procedure and said, “Sir, it is apart of my standard procedure.”

Or

I could have kept my mouth shut.

I don’t know when to shut the fuck up sometimes.

Flaws, I will always point out my own and others’ if its beneficial at all to. I like hearing about what I need to improve on. Comment with any sort of advice or negativity. I like it all.

2738 words.

Sorry, first few posts will be a little much. What was the blog about? Respect?

Oh yeah, let us stick it to the man and do stupid things that can almost get us fired.

I just don’t respect those who don’t respect others, that is all.

Please, improve humanity, respect someone today, you might just make their day. What powers we all have, we can change lives, but we don’t. 2807. Sorry.

Calming

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I wish he was a professor of mine, any subject would do.

He actually is a fashion designer.

Sitting on my family sofa with my netbook in my lap trying to figure out how to start a blog and actually be committed to it, I wait for my creativity to flow. Perhaps I should write something about myself, I am just your average person. I am not special, I live life just because I am alive… But recently life has not been very… usual. I started at my first job in January, I am a community college student, I have been searching since I was 15. Back then,  I knew who I wanted to be,  I knew what type of employee I was going to be; the hard working one, that does everything their employer asks of them and more. I often get to the point where they don’t even have to ask anymore. I set that standard for my life early in my teen years.

But the working career is not what I hoped it would be.

Working at this job has certainly been anything but a professional experience. When I started,  I knew exactly nothing on how to be an employee, I was very… Newb.

I was first of the bunch they had hired this year. The only reason I think they hired me could be perhaps I had no experience what-so-ever and I was a decently attractive female. See, the place I work at is geared towards the male, but I am just a cashier, a low-key maintenance job with very little exertion and/or intelligence needed, kinda like a McDonald’s employee, the only worthy job is management.

Don’t begin to try to analyze me, I am very grateful and lucky to have this job, I just know I can do much better with my choice of career or in-between jobs, and I will. Why else have I been working very hard to get out of my… environment?

See, I was home schooled as a child, which is a very, very intelligent choice  for your kid, if you are a committed, organized, decently educated parent who has structure and discipline. My parents never had that, well, my mom had the education down. Besides, they did it for quite a selfish reason, in my opinion: so that I wouldn’t become “worldly.” They did not want that, they underestimated me.

My parental unites are… Religious.

For the sake of anonymousness, safety of my identity and affiliations, I shall remain as little-detail orientated as much as I can. Truly, details aren’t really important for the story, the only purpose of any story is that it should tell what happened, not what one was watching while it was happening, and certainly not the name of my job.

So, I shall refrain from any sort of category besides the ones I simply state. One being this, I am a nerd.

I have nothing against religion, actually, that is a lie. I have everything against religion, but, again, before you try to label me, I am quite non-atheist as well.

You see, religion is what prevented my parents from letting me kick-ass in high school, religion is what prevented me from learning evolution, other religions, from studying philosophy, from being my own identity and person for 18 years. Those years where you create who you are, set yourself aside from everyone else, to think thoughts without feeling you will be punished by being sent to the eternal flames of hell. Scared all those years… to be who I am.

I could go on about how religious hindered my life, but the thing is, religion has hindered everyone’s life in some way, either by their choice or someone else’s. Religion affects choice, if one is religious, their choices will be affected by something other than their selves, which may lean towards the favor of religion. I state this because I have a great example.

Proposition 8.

Whose choice is affecting LGBT human beings from being married?

Your’s, who is most likely a Christian based on statistics.

Anyways,  there is nothing wrong with affiliations, beliefs, or traditions, unless of course, you push it upon another forcibly or even rudely.

Another great example, I was chatting with classmates in the cafeteria simply debating how “straight-edge” people become so not “straight-edge.” Of course religion picks up in the conversation, mutual non-believers agreeing with the hinderances of religion, polite, quiet, and not trying to offend the fellow classmate who was eavesdropping at the table over. My classmate asks me if I was a Christian, the eavesdropper loudly exclaims “You are certainly not a Christian.” It isn’t bad to not be a Christian, but the way she said it made me feel like I was a horrible being and not worthy to even state my afilliation.

At that time I think I blacked out, I think from what I can recall, I really ranted at the young and extremely rude person who made a slight assumption about me based on my actions. She didn’t say much after that. I don’t recall what I said to her but I can garauntee it was full of logic, along the lines of “I am more Christian than you are by the facts that I didn’t rudely assume something bad about a stranger and tried to make you, the eavesdropper, feel bad at all for interrupting me.”

I swear, there are only some things I like about humanity.

So, this average person doesn’t blog about how much she hates religion, just the people. Yeah its the person who is still doing the choosing, but again, religious people fail to see that, they think there is a higher source guiding them, failing to take responsibility for their actions. “God allowed me to eavesdrop so I can point out your faults!.” >:< MMm!

… Hehe, maybe not that extreme, but you get the idea.

Well, my parents aren’t all bad, that is why I again state how average I am, I don’t have excruciating anger towards my parents, just a tad remorseful that I didn’t get to go to a public high school and guide a different teen-life.

I also know my parents are not unique, everyone’s parents, I mean everyone’s, can be a very big disappointment for their children in different ways, the only connection is disappointment.

Mmm… Writer’s block is quite delicious.

Well, let’s get back to my job, I suppose.

I was hired as part-time… with 40 hours my first week. Oh yeah. My job is one of the big corporation retail stores that everyone can recognize their logo for, or should. I have had customers forget exactly where they were. Oops, I said retail, thats pretty anonymous right? I mean, I don’t think I would be complaining about my job if it were anything else but the usual. Usual meaning retail, beverage, and food. That is pretty usual, unless it was a Humanese restaurant. Now that I could start a blog on just to describe the customers for.

Think, what kind of person eats humanese? I know about it because, as an average person, my family can be kind of eccentric. It was my mom’s idea. I like humanese now.

Here it is again, that sweet, sweet writer’s block.

I’ll shed more light on my education, since it is basically all I can account for my accomplishments.

I may be an average person, but I like to think my education is above so. I went straight to community college after I had my personal and unique “graduation.” Oh the one graduating class of 08′, with only one graduate. I was never much of a spirited person.

Since then my G.P.A. has been teetering between 3.44 and 3.79. I like learning.

I think I like to learn because I was shocked with a truthful mythical fear, humans only use 10% of their brain. What? Ten Percent? Oh how I wish I could say I was not a human being…

I strive for at least 15% a day. My goal is 100%.

I don’t miss high school, I am quite glad it is over actually. It was all business for me after high school. Education was my number one priority.

So I took all my hard classes first, but I still had no clue who or what I wanted to be. I was very impressionable, but just walking through life, waiting for it all to end.

I took a philosophy class my first semester actually. Don’t doubt it when I say it was my favourite class. It taught me how to think, not “what” to think. Some people can’t grasp that… Like my parents after I told them I denounced my religion two months into the class.

They refused to accept it. They acted as if I had died a horrible death and they would never see my body again… She actually told me she wished I was pregnant… at age 18.

I don’t know if you have done what I did, or what your position is on what I did, but I don’t think you could understand unless you knew what it felt like to cause the ultimate disappointment to your parents.

Yes, the ultimate.

They didn’t care I had sex.

They wouldn’t care if I did drugs.

They wouldn’t care if I went to jail.

Murdered someone,

or married the Anti-Christ,

they only cared about my ticket to Heaven.

Which is not a proven place.

Good thing I haven’t been to jail or murdered anyone.

I am definitely staying away from dangerous drugs. I may do a certain kind that is known to not cause overdose and perhaps even kill bacteria, even the known MRSA superbug, but I am smart, sorry, I know what to use and not use. So again, my average character is saved by the fact this blog is not about promoting the safest drugs ever.

But from this post already you can determine and gather information about me.

1. A young lady

2. Educated

3. A writer

Yes, I write, I love writing. I love the way I can form sentences to help the reader understand exactly what I am trying to get across to them. I like to think it is a form of art.

Writing and photography of course, so this blog will also contain pictures that are copy written by myself through deviant art.

With the word count at 1690 with this exact sentence, I shall come to an end.

I will post something, an insight, a rant, an angst, or anything every day until the end of this year. If I can’t commit to this then, then I know I am not a blogger.

Here is a picture for the day:

Taken momentarily from stepping outside.